traditional nuclear family

The cast
The Mathemagician - male, 26, math tutor
Deb the Dramaturg - female, 24?, underemployed dramaturg (duh)
The Hipsterest Grad Student (Pterest, with a silent p) - male, 23?, anthro grad student at the local Ivy
Mech - Deb's [male] Israeli partner, 30-something, interested in Judaism, landscaping, and sex education
The Gardener - my girlfriend, currently an apprentice at a rad farm in the suburbs
Me - female, 25, math teacher in hell


The back-story
Deb and the Mathemagician are the lesbian moms. Pterest is the adolescent son. I'm the sperm donor dad. Gardener is my gay male partner, and she and I are supposed to be positive male role models for Pterest, but are always falling down on the job. Gardener in particular is a deadbeat, says Deb, because when she's around she makes cake and indulges us all, then takes off on her next adventure when she feels like it. "Are you going to teach Pterest that people just leave??"

The situation
Pterest asks for advice about using some canned clam sauce on pasta. I say gross. We all get into a big [fake] argument about who's allowing him to eat what and how the moms indulge him too much and why aren't the Gardener and I better role models and why wasn't Pterest helping us clean the house anyway? Deb says, "I'm going out with my other partners now, and so is Mathemagician. You have to take care of our son."

This is what passes for theater around here.