May 23, 2007

10% is not enough

Dramatis Personae
Boy Genius is a junior who's talking to me about the Outward Bound course he might go on this Friday.
Vinny is his friend.
Mick is a 9th grader who has detention. He's in the same general crew as BG and Vinny.
I'm Ms. North. You know me already.

Scene
My classroom, after school.

Boy Genius: "Yo, Ms. North, this trip sounds bangin'."

Vinny: "Is there any 'mos going to be going on this trip?"

Ms. N: "Any what?"

V: "'Mos. Like, uh, ho - mo - sexuals."

N: ::Thanks for clearing that up::1 "I don't know.2 Why, you got a problem with gay people?"

V: "Not if they're girls..."

N: "Y'know, Vinny, it's good for you when guys are gay. 'Cuz if two guys are dating each other, it's less competition for you. They won't be going after the girls, and you can be all like Hello, Ladies. Really, you should get all your friends to be gay."3

V: "YO!! Ms. North! You totally right. I gotta get some skin for that one." /high five/ "Yo, Mick, do me a favor and be gay. Yo, T, get this."

Vinny walked all the way down the hall expounding to his friends about what I had said - evangelizing, if you will. I swear on my life I did not laugh until he was gone.


1. Ten bonus points on the final exam for anyone who can identify the trash fantasy author who uses that format for internal speech.
2. Not strictly speaking true, since one student is out and I'm going. Though homosexual isn't a label I have any affinity for.
3. Credit where due to Deb the Dramaturg for this line of 'reasoning.'

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

well DONE!

kt

the fire boss said...

north, you win Today.
bobby d still gets breakfast.
except zachary's.

technically, that's a haiku.

"Deb" said...

as your resident dramaturg, i will add the two cents that while not technically a 'trash fantasy' author, Edward Albee uses a similar format for internal speech.

actually he kind of is trash fantasy. fantastic tragedy, more like.

"deb" said...

by the way, you might want not to link to me, as i do not employ the brilliant subterfuge pseudonymification schema you favor. i'm searchable.

North said...

It's ok if you don't pseudonymify, as long as you don't link to me by my name. That's all I ask. I just don't want a student to google my name and find my blog. If they plan to find out my friends' names, google them, then follow links to my blog - well, if they're that motivated, good for them.

Fire Boss, I met another cool waiter - this one at Rx. He went to ISU. Then I saw him in the Satellite on my way to work and could *not* remember his name. Which is actually Bryan!